Clunk

Last (semi-)working day before the Easter Break and the beginning of the shoot for 'Mum and Dad'. In between doing parenty things like taking my daughter to her friend's birthday party (all screaming, running and wotsits), I managed to get over to both of the main locations for the film. They're looking good - the art dept. are doing a great job, but the tightness of the kitchen location is still a bit of a worry - mainly because it's one of the few locations where we've got all five main cast involved and a lot of movement. I'm hoping that the weather will have cooled a bit by Tuesday so that the place doesn't become a sweatbox. We're starting with quite a big scene - where the main character Lena is brought into the family kitchen and experiences the perverse normality of the family. I think it's good to go straight in with something that has everybody involved - hopefully it'll help people to get to know each other, and will give the actors a good cue as to how their characterisation is fitting in with everybody else's.

I get the feeling at the moment that however much I try to be calm, I'm actually worrying too much. Or maybe not too much (I think a certain amount of worry is crucial to the whole film production process) but maybe in the wrong areas. It's hard to know. It's funny, every time I start to make a film, there comes a time where I suddenly seem to lose sight of what it is that I'm doing - like all of a sudden I forget how to do it. Hopefully, the experience of making my shorts (and especially the recent experience of 'Deliver Me') is going to carry me through - it's just that sometimes when I'm thinking about how a scene's going to work, my mind just blanks and every shot I (badly) draw seems really clunky.

Then again, maybe I'm just a clunky filmmaker and should just learn to live with it.

Tried to speak to the actors today- just to check out that they were okay with the script and stuff - but most of them were out - probably enjoying the lovely weather. Managed to talk to Toby (Elbie) who says he can't wait to start - he wanted to get going as soon as we'd done the rehearsals. It's good to hear that kind of thing - makes you realise that the project is bigger than you, and that everybody else working on it has got things invested in it too. As far as my own feelings go - I'm torn between really wanting to get started (just to get the momentum going) and stressing about not being prepared enough. Have to tell myself that this is just the normal state of affairs, though.